Sun 5th Mar 06
Dear friends and
family,
Tourists have
remarked that there isn't any news of Ariel Sharon. He's been in a coma for
about 2 months now. Yesterday there was a brief notice that he'll probably be
moved to a rehabilitation centre from the intensive care ward at Haddasah hospital.
His picture and
speeches feature prominently in the election campaign of Kadimah,
the party he established just before his illness.
Yesterday,
Shabbat, the crowds were out again filling the restaurants and the picnic spots
around
One of the most
popular places is the friendly, Arab
With such a
sunny day, yesterday the lush green hills were speckled with hikers.
I was among the
"lunchers" not the hikers, with Ettie and Avishai and our
friends, Carmela and Shimon. Our waiter was rushed
off his feet and took a while to get round to serving our table. When we
remarked at how slow the service was he went into a long description of how
hard he has to work. You could really feel that this man was eager to help us
to get our meal swiftly but the number of diners he was called upon to serve
was just so great that his usual swift service was hampered.
From this
explanation I could understand that the most eloquent waiter in the restaurant
had fallen to our lot.
The only
effective response to such eloquence was eloquence. So I revealed to him that
we were fully aware that we were very lucky to have him fall to our table.
We were
obviously the appreciative sort of diners he was waiting for. People at other
tables waited patiently while he served us, the people who appreciated his
wonderful qualities.
We left him a
good tip, but what really got him on our side was our expression of admiration
of his wonderful talents.
My son, Emanuel,
has criticized for not being critical enough in my letters. He says that I only
say that everything is good and beautiful while actually things are terrible.
He's right, many
things are terrible. But repeating the list of terrible things isn't going to
make them better. Telling a slow waiter that he's slow isn't going to make him
faster. Telling him that you think he's a wonderful person and that you're
aware of how difficult it is to give fast service in such circumstances will,
on the other hand make you feel better and might even get you much better
service.
You might as
well do this in any similar situation. If it doesn't get you attention and
better service at least you'll endure the wait with greater calmness.
Irritation and
anger lurk, like scary monsters behind dark corners. These feelings wait for us
wherever we meet other people. You won't find them while living alone in a
cave, for example.
These feelings
are dangerous monsters and the prospect of meeting them is greatest with those
closest to us, children, parents, brothers, sisters and at places where we
depend on service from others, the filling station, post office, bank, plumber,
doctor et.
These feelings
jump out of us, suddenly and unexpectedly, in the form of criticism. Before we
know it the words have sprung out of our mouths. Instead of getting calmer, as
some psychologists think, through "letting off steam" we actually
ignite a fire under a pot of water, which is our mind, and it boils over. This
is not only bad for us, it also does nothing to make
the other person better. We just get more irritable and angry.
Complementing people, might not help either but, at least it will cool our
anger and will help us.
Complementing
someone makes us feel calmer and sets our minds free to think more clearly
about how to best handle the situation confronting us.
Have a great no news
day.
Reply to: legork@netvision.net.il
Tel/fax 02 5810732
Mobile phone 052 3801867
http://www.geocities.com/leongork
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